Friday, August 6, 2010

Blind Sided

I was going through my journal and found the entry that I wrote after me and Erik's first date....

"Butterflies... the most perfect feeling in the world. I don't even have words to describe them... let me try...
The first thing that comes to mind is that I never thought this would happen tonight or at all with Erik. Okay, yes all weekend I thought about him, but the fact that he reached over during the movie and missed my hand then on the second try got it- never ever could I imagine how tingly that would feel.
Man I'm having trouble writing this because I keep smiling. Even if nothing happens beyond this, I'll have one amazing night to look back on.
Let's get to the details. So I have been trying to talk myself out of liking him all weekend long- I let my mind wonder too far away. So I seriously thought we were going to the movies as friends. It was so fun to hang out with him though; our conversation never hit a lull. The the lights went out in the nearly empty movie theater and it became evident that I really wanted to hold his hand,but I knew he didn't think of me like that. But we kept brushing up against each other and I felt my face get hot and my heart bang up against my rib cage. Then I mistook my butterflies for a full bladder. So I excused myself and went to the bathroom to calm down. But as soon as I sat down the sweaty palm game began and I was super conscious of where his hands were... except when his left hand shot across the barrier and missed my hand, but left it ridiculously close. Finally we got it right and I almost started crying- I just knew that he would remember that I was just a friend and grabbing my hand was a mistake. I loosened my grip so that he could let go, but alas he held on tighter. After the movie we talked the whole car ride home and outside my door. Then to maybe end the night I mentioned my cold toes. But he followed me into my apartment and the evening got even better as we cuddled and watched Youtube videos.
The weird thing is that we're just the same good friends that we've always been... but now I'm totally attracted to him.
Okay I need to stop thinking about this- it's really not a big deal- besides my cheeks hurt from smiling too much."

Who knew that fateful night where we went and saw "The Blind Slide" would turn into something this wonderful?