Saturday, April 26, 2008
Another time, my AP Geography teacher announced that our test would be postponed. The room filled with cheers, happy exclamations, and..... sobs. Yes, you read that right, I was sitting at my desk completely crying. Possibly one of the most embarrassing moments, the teacher had to stop class and come examine what was happening. I had been under a ton of stress and just on the edge of a panic attack, and when one big stress was removed, I lost it.
Recently a friend of mine got asked on a date by a boy she likes. That night I laid in my bed, unable to sleep because I was so excited. I kept giggling and letting out small little shouts of happiness. I actually think I shed a few tears of joy. After about an hour of this, I remembered that I wasn't actually going on the date. Then I asked myself this, Suzanne my dear, why in the world, do you live life through other people? I feel more emotion vicariously than I do from my own experiences. I think there might be something wrong with that. When I'm on my deathbed, I'm going to say, "Wow what an amazing life... everyone else lived."So I decided that I'm going to start living my own life! Bring on the tears, baby!
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
So around the second hour, when I had to hold on to my seat so I wouldn't stand up and pull the fire alarm so I could get out of there, I decided that there wasn't a job out there for me and I should even go to college because I'm just going to hate whatever I get into anyways. I've already had bad experiences in the work place. My first job was as an Italian Ice scooper, I would stand next to a stand in the middle of nowhere all day in the hot summer sun, waiting for people to come by, so I could offer them samples. Being the ignorant responsible 15 year old as I was, I listened to the rule that said no books, phones, iPods, or anything worth living for, on the job. So that was not a good job.
Of course there's always been babysitting. I'm surprised I haven't killed anyone's kid yet. I'm horrible with kids. They general hate me, and run a muck.
The last job was tutoring. I actually really liked this job. I got payed for helping people with homework. Oh, I forgot to mention that another one of my hobbies is homework! I thrive off homework, even though I like to complain. So that was a fun job, but I don't think I actually helped the kids because I would get caught up in the work and do it myself and forget to explain, and they were ok with that because then they didn't have to do homework.
So... none of these jobs seem lucrative or even fun for me. So now I think I'll fall back on pursuing my dream job of pulling up the net behind the goal posts during football games.
At least I have more options that marriage, nannying, and prostitution, to my make my living. Jane Austen's characters had it rough.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Oh, by the way, has anyone else noticed all the couples around lately? My ward alone has had 5 weddings in the past few months! Five! And we have a puny sized ward. Not only marriages, but it seems like everyone has a significant other. Well not everyone... but a fair amount of people. Weird! Ah, springtime is the time for lovin'!
Friday, April 18, 2008
From that day forth, I tried everything in my 16 year old power to get his attention or find out his name. Only, a few months later, did I stumble across it. We were doing name plates in clay, and I circled the room and right behind his stool, I stopped and "adjusted" the tools I was carrying and there, perfectly clear, carved out of the moist clay, in teenage boy handwriting was scrawled "Tyler"... but I still thought of him as Tom. Little over a month after that, I got the courage and I talked to him. He was glazing his coil pot over by the sink. I skillfully found that my hands were dirty, so I made my way over to the sink. I washed my hands.... very very thoroughly, as I was washing it, I turned to Mr. Sawyer and said in my most seductive voice, "Nice pot" He looked up at me and gave me a piercing glance and said "Thank you" in the richest most sincere voice I ever heard.
Well after finding out his name and conversing with him, I went ahead and started planning the wedding. I had everything ready. I overheard him say that he was trying to quit smoking, so I even got a temple date.
But here, like in most perfect love stories, fate interrupted our beautiful love. It was the last day of school, I was standing the back of the auditorium watching the seniors' picture fly by. I watched as the face of my beloved graced the screen for a few seconds. My lovely sister, Miss Karen Stack, witnessed my somber look of shock. I turned to her slowly, stood there for a few minutes in a state of numbness. I could feel my heart breaking, and that's when I started crying. I had no idea that he was a senior. I thought we had time. I mean for goodness sakes, I had only one conversation with him. But my time was all used up. Once I got my yearbook, I spent the rest of the day, trying to find him. I didn't know what I was going to say to him, but I just had to have him sign my yearbook and admire his rolled up pants just one last time. I turned the corner, and just a few feet away from me stood the only man I've ever loved. This was my chance, I squared my shoulders and started walking forward. But, again with the fate thing, a certain teacher stood in the way of my happiness. The teacher drilled me about my brother, and by the time I got away from him, Mr. Sawyer was gone. Forever.
I know I shall never love another as I loved Tom... but one day I might be able to reassemble my shattered heart.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
I am Miss Stack, a flourishing young lady, who just happened to be born in the wrong time period. If I could relate to one Jane Austen character, it would have to be Elizabeth Bennet because I do enjoy a good laugh at the world. I've even had my own Mr. Collins, (remind me to recount that story later), and perhaps an encounter with a Mr. Wickham. But I'm sure one day my Mr. Darcy will come and completely sweep me off my feet.
As for now, I'm acting as Emma, living vicariously through my friends' relationships and sometimes even meddling ( I really need to stop doing that).
I also feel like I could belong in Sense and Sensibility because I have a best friend who is more of a sister to me (Miss Garfield). I'm not sure which one is Maryanne and which is Eleanor, I think we switch off. Or maybe neither of us is very sensible. Possibly Miss Garfield is Eleanor and I'm Maryanne because Miss Garfield often takes care of me. Regardless, we've stuck by each other through the most disagreeable and agreeable parts of High School.
For the most part, I'm an average girl and a hopeless romantic. I'm always looking forward to the next ball and devouring Jane Austen books, faster than I do certain literature that has to do with Vampires. I do believe in happily ever afters, although they don't all have to end in marriage.