Sunday, June 15, 2008

My miny paradise destroyed

There is a hiatus in my moving chaos, so I decided to stop and update the good old blog. I’m sitting in my room, my completely empty room. This room was my safe haven, my fortress. The one place where I was safe from the world. Now it is empty, void of its security. The prayer flags and Tibetan quilt that reminded me to fight for what I believe in and that there is a whole world out there for me to explore are stuffed away. My bed, with its wonderful amazing comforter, that shielded me from a potential falling roof and just all the sorrows life threw at me is also MIA. My desk where I sat and worked for hours on end on schoolwork, which I thought, made up my whole life is vacant. My books, oh my beautiful books, were my companion. One of them always had something to say, to warn, to guide, or to comfort me.
That’s all gone now. When I first painted my room purple, I bragged to the whole world, “I have a purple room.” I was 13 and it was the first time in my life I had my own room and could choose a color to paint it. I don’t really know what led me to purple, but I found it and have loved it. Purple furniture and materials seemed to gravitate to my room. Purple was the first sign of my independence.
Gross, my new room is bubblegum pink. It’s very disgusting. I’m trying to decide what color to paint it. All the vibrant colors seem too childish, while all the tan and soft colors are too grown up.
This new house is twice the size of my old one. If you know me then you know how much I hate, ABSOLUTELY loath big houses. I think they are just a way for people to show off their wealth. So my first reaction to this new house was how much I hated the unnecessary size. But my parents explained their reasoning behind a big house and how they were going to use it to save the world, or whatever. Well my little act of rebellion was choosing the smallest bedroom. I actually rather adore it (well besides the color). It’s got this AMAZING view of the mountains and it’s small enough to make me feel less guilty about owning a big house.
The whirlwind of emotions that come along with moving is the only thing keeping me in SLC, my mind has wandered a few days early to India. I leave on Tuesday for over a month. No more moving stress, no more growing up stress, no more loneliness. I’ll be seeing the real world and enjoying some quality time with my dad. I’m so excited, it’s the only thing that gets me up in the morning. I only have to survive one more day!

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